Step Parenting Program
Why is it? (Step family question)?
Every thing i read on here about how to treat your stepchildren , says to treat them as your biological children. But then i read that a step parent should not dicipline the step children, but “be their friend”. They say “Dont try to replace the bio parent” etc etc. But the truth is, my stepchildren live with us full time. I have tried and tried to treat them like my own, do things with them and for them. I go to all of their programs or ball games. I have to be everything a mom is including the cooking, cleaning , buying things but I’m not allowed to do the “negative” things a bio mother does. I have to dicipline my own children, but i shouldn’t dicipline the stepchildren? So basically i should treat them like my own, but they can treat me any way they like. I’ve had my newly planted flowers stomped on, dog crap smeared through the house, been called evil when i have done nothing to deserve it. I am totally lost here. Please …………
Heck yeah, you can discipline those step-kids (short of spanking/swatting, I mean). They live with you full-time, as you’ve said, and it is your responsibility to take care of their physical needs. However, the most important thing is that your husband supports you 200% and makes clear to the kids that when you say something, you are speaking for the both of you.
Even if their mother is still in the picture and/or totally useless, don’t be afraid to tell those kids that you love them. Even when they are behaving like turds, let them know that you love them, despite being upset about their behavior. If necessary, join an online step-parenting support group. Even MySpace has one (Stepmoms ROCK!). Good luck!
Happy Child Guide – Child Emotional and Behavioral Problems Guide